the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
