did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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