Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
