I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
