Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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