i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
soo... how was my night?
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