I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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