the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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