I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
