You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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