So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
