i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
