Me too!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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