hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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