I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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