so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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