So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
