when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
