How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
