You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
