That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
