i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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