i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
