forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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