What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
