It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
