pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
