the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
