covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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