I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
