I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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