What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
