I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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