Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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