y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
