Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
