we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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