I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
