I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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