I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
