I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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