Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
