Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Panties = found
Randomize
