You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize