He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
