I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
