Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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