It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
