I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
