Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.

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(636): View more from Missouri

tequila makes her clothes fall off

(512): View more from Texas

wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.

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(917): View more from New York City

Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee

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(707): View more from California

I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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(585): View more from New York

Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position

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