he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
