Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
